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\u3000\u3000\u6211\u89ba\u5f97\uff0c\u77db\u76fe\u5c0d\u670b\u53cb\u95dc\u4fc2\u672a\u5fc5\u5371\u5bb3\uff0c\u53cd\u904e\u4f86\u7684\uff0c\u4e43\u81f3\u662f\u4fdd\u6301\u670b\u53cb\u95dc\u4fc2\u5fc5\u9700\u7684\u6d3b\u52d5\u3002<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u3000\u3000\u7f8e\u570b\u4f5c\u5bb6Sheila Heen\u548c\u5148\u68ee\u90fd\u6703\u54c8\u4f5b\u5927\u5b78\u535a\u5c0e\u4eba\u969b\u4ea4\u5f80\uff0c\u5168\u90e8\u7684\u4eba\u90fd\u8a8d\u70ba\u5979\u5011\u662f\u6975\u81f4\u7684\u7d44\u6210\uff0c\u7d55\u5c0d\u4e0d\u5bb9\u6613\u722d\u5435\uff0c\u7d50\u679c\uff0c\u4e0d\u5c0d!\u5728\u5979\u5011\u5bb6\u88e1\uff0c\u4ecd\u7136\u6703\u6709\u722d\u5435\u3002\u54f2\u5b78\u78a9\u58ebJhon Gottman\u66fe\u5728\u83ef\u76db\u9813\u5927\u5b78\u958b\u5275\u300c\u611f\u60c5\u8a66\u9a57\u5ba4\u300d\uff0c\u4ed6\u63a2\u8a0e\u4e86\u4e09\u5341\u591a\u5e74\u7684\u592b\u59bb\u95dc\u4fc2\u767c\u89ba\uff0c\u958b\u5fc3\u7684\u592b\u5a66\u5927\u90e8\u5206\u6709\u84575\uff1a1\u7684\u53cd\u9762\u8207\u793e\u6703\u8f3f\u8ad6\u7684\u4ea4\u4e92\u3002\u53cd\u9762\u7684\u4ea4\u4e92\u80fd\u5275\u5efa\u9577\u671f\u6069\u611b\u7684\u57fa\u672c\uff0c\u9ad8\u60c5\u5546\u80fd\u9818\u8457\u592b\u5a66\u8e0f\u904e\u793e\u6703\u8f3f\u8ad6\u7684\u5fc3\u614b\u3002\u5047\u5982\u53cd\u9762\u8207\u793e\u6703\u8f3f\u8ad6\u7684\u4ea4\u4e92\u4f54\u6bd4\u5c0f\u65bc3\uff1a1\uff0c\u592b\u59bb\u95dc\u4fc2\u767e\u5206\u4e4b\u516b\u5341\u6703\u51fa\u96e3\u984c\u3002\uff5d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u3000\u3000\u898b\u5230\u9019\u5152\uff0c\u610f\u6797\u5c11\u5e74\u7248\u5fc5\u5b9a\u6703\u554f\uff0c\u90a3\u70ba\u4f55\u6c92\u6709\u53cd\u9762\u4ea4\u4e92\u4f54\u6bd4\u6108\u9ad8\u7684\u5a5a\u59fb\u6108\u5e78\u798f?\u6bd4\u598210\uff1a1\u3002\u55ef\uff0c\u7384\u5c31\u7384\u9019\u5152\uff0c\u4f9d\u64daGottman\u7684\u63a2\u8a0e\u767c\u89ba\uff0c\u5c0a\u7a31\u5f9e\u4f86\u4e0d\u722d\u5435\u7684\u592b\u5a66\uff0c\u4e00\u822c\u5728\u77ed\u671f\u5167\u5167\u5c0d\u5a5a\u59fb\u6eff\u610f\u5ea6\u6bd4\u901a\u5e38\u4eba\u9ad8\uff0c\u4f46\u662f\u7b49\u904e3\u5e74\u4ee5\u5f8c\uff0cGottman\u518d\u8aaa\u63a2\u8a0e\u9019\u7fa4\u4e0d\u722d\u5435\u7684\u592b\u5a66\u537b\u767c\u89ba\uff0c\u9019\u7fa4\u4eba\u7684\u5a5a\u59fb\u6eff\u610f\u7387\u53cd\u5012\u6bd4\u9019\u4e9b\u628a\u96e3\u984c\u5435\u958b\u958b\u7684\u592b\u5a66\u9084\u4f4e\uff0c\u5c07\u6703\u7684\u7de3\u6545\u662f\uff0c\u9019\u7fa4\u592b\u5a66\u628a\u5c0d\u76f8\u4e92\u7684\u672a\u6eff\u59cb\u7d42\u7169\u60b6\u4e0b\u4f86\uff0c\u53cd\u5012\u4e0d\u826f\u5f71\u97ff\u670b\u53cb\u95dc\u4fc2\u7684\u4fdd\u6301\u3002<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u3000\u3000\u4f9d\u64da\u662f\uff0c\u722d\u5435\u5c07\u6703\u6709\u5229\u670b\u53cb\u95dc\u4fc2\uff0c\u4f46\u91cd\u4e2d\u4e4b\u91cd\u662f\uff0c\u8981\u660e\u767d\u5217\u8209\u5967\u79d8\uff0c\u64c5\u65bc\u89e3\u6c7a\u722d\u5435\uff0c\u80fd\u5920\u8b93\u5169\u4eba\u95dc\u4fc2\u66f4\u89aa\u66b1\u7262\u56fa\uff0c\u89e3\u6c7a\u5f97\u4e0d\u592a\u597d\uff0c\u5247\u514d\u4e0d\u4e86\u9020\u6210\u95dc\u806f\u4e0d\u6210\u529f\u88c2\u958b\u3002\u7f8e\u570b\u4f5c\u5bb6Sheila Heen\u51fa\u793a\u597d\u591a\u500b\u6d41\u7a0b\uff0c\u6559\u5927\u5925\u5152\u54351\u500b\u597d\u67b6\uff1a<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u3000\u30001.\u4e0d\u5fc5\u975e\u722d\u51fa\u500b\u8ab0\u5c0d\u8ab0\u932f<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u3000\u3000\u300c\u4ed6\u8aaa\u904e\u4f60\u60f3\u53bb\u7e73\u96fb\u8cbb\u7684\uff0c\u4f60\u7e73\u4f55\u6642?\u300d\u5ab3\u5a66\u75be\u8a00\u53b2\u8272\u5730\u554f\u8001\u516c\uff0c\u5118\u7ba1\u5979\u65e9\u5df2\u4e86\u89e3\u8001\u516c\u672c\u8cea\u5fd8\u8a18\u4e86\u9019\u6703\u4e8b\u3002\u5979\u5167\u5fc3\u5f88\u660e\u78ba\u5979\u7b97\u662f\u5c0d\u7684\uff0c\u4e26\u4e14\u5c0d\u7684\u4e0d\u53ea\u90a3\u4ef6\uff0c\u7576\u5979\u898b\u5230\u4e08\u592b\u628a\u5bb6\u4e2d\u5f04\u5f97\u4e00\u5718\u4e82\u3001\u4e00\u76f4\u4e0d\u592a\u611b\u51bc\u6fa1\u3001\u9694\u4e09\u5dee\u4e94\u5728\u5c0f\u5b69\u773c\u524d\u5403\u5ee2\u68c4\u7269\u98df\u6750\u3001\u6bcf\u4e00\u6b21\u99d5\u8eca\u90fd\u8981\u9650\u901f\uff0c\u5979\u4e86\u89e3\uff0c\u5728\u9019\u7a2e\u4e8b\u5152\u88e1\uff0c\u5979\u662f\u5c0d\u7684\uff0c\u8001\u516c\u662f\u7406\u8667\u7684\u3002\u53ea\u6709\uff0c\u885d\u7a81\u9ede\u5c31\u53d6\u6c7a\u65bc\uff0c\u4ed6\u8001\u516c\u4e5f\u89ba\u5f97\u4ed6\u7b97\u662f\u5c0d\u7684\u3002\u7531\u65bc\u4ed6\u89ba\u5f97\u7e73\u4e0d\u7e73\u96fb\u8cbb\u53ea\u6709\u7463\u4e8b\u9019\u4ef6;\u8a0e\u53ad\u51bc\u6fa1\uff0c\u592b\u4eba\u7d50\u5a5a\u5f8c\u5c31\u4e86\u89e3;\u602a\u4ed6\u8eca\u958b\u592a\u5feb\uff0c\u53ea\u662f\u7531\u65bc\u592b\u4eba\u96e3\u4ee5\u5fcd\u53d7\u7531\u4ed6\u4eba\u64cd\u63a7\u901f\u7387\u3002\u4e26\u4e14\u4ed6\u9084\u7d93\u5e38\u5e6b\u52a9\u5237\u7897\u3001\u6254\u5783\u573e\uff0c\u592b\u4eba\u537b\u5e7e\u4e4e\u4e5f\u4e0d\u8b1d\u8b1d\u3002<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u3000\u3000\u5a5a\u59fb\u4e2d\u7684\u77db\u76fe\u56e0\u6b64\u6c92\u6709\u5c0e\u56e0\u65bc\u6709\u500b\u4eba\u5c0d\uff0c\u53e6\u4e00\u4eba\u932f\u3002\u5f88\u591a\u592b\u5a66\u5728\u722d\u57f7\u6642\uff0c\u5167\u5fc3\u9762\u60f3\u7684\u672c\u8cea\u6c92\u6709\u540c\u4e8b\u60c5\u3002\u56e0\u6b64\u722d\u5435\u6642\uff0c\u6700\u5408\u9069\u5225\u8981\u722d\u51fa\u500b\u8ab0\u5c0d\u8ab0\u932f\uff0c\u975e\u5f97\u67d0\u4e00\u4eba\u9053\u6b49\u8ce0\u7f6a\u624d\u7f77\u624b\u3002<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u3000\u30002.\u6aa2\u67e5\u722d\u5435\u8eab\u5f8c\u771f\u5be6\u7684\u7de3\u6545<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u3000\u3000\u300c\u5fd8\u8a18\u53bb\u7e73\u96fb\u8cbb\u300d\u5728\u8001\u516c\u4f86\u770b\u7463\u4e8b\u9019\u4ef6\uff0c\u4f46\u5c0d\u5ab3\u5a66\u4f86\u8b1b\uff0c\u537b\u610f\u5473\u8457\u4e86\u9019\u4e00\u8001\u516c\u5c0d\u4ed6\u627f\u82e5\u7684\u4e8b\u5152\u662f\u4e0d\u662f\u6709\u4f7f\u547d\u611f\uff0c\u80fd\u5426\u5c65\u884c\u8afe\u8a00\u3002\u9019\u7b97\u662f\u6642\u4ef6\u4e8b\u7269\u672c\u8cea\u4e0b\u771f\u5be6\u7279\u5225\u6ce8\u610f\u7684\u4e8b\u3002<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u3000\u3000\u53ea\u6709\u9019\u7a2e\u4e8b\u60c5\u56e0\u6b64\u6c92\u8fa6\u6cd5\u4e00\u9663\u5b50\u5c31\u66f4\u6539\uff0c\u7531\u65bc\u9019\u7a2e\u5f62\u70ba\u3001\u964b\u7fd2\uff0c\u5728\u5bb6\u5ead\u200b\u200b\u95dc\u4fc2\u4e2d\u5c31\u65e9\u5df2\u6839\u6df1\u67e2\u56fa\uff0c\u59cb\u7d42\u9001\u5230\u4f60\u5006\u7684\u95dc\u806f\u8c9d\u76db\u3002\u793e\u6703\u5b78\u5bb6Gottman\u7684\u63a2\u8a0e\u5c31\u767c\u89ba\uff0c\u592b\u59bb\u9593\u4e09\u5206\u4e4b\u4e00\u7684\u722d\u57f7\u6211\u89ba\u5f97\u662f\u300c\u96e3\u89e3\u7684\u300d\uff0c\u7531\u65bc\u9019\u4f86\u6e90\u65bc\u65bc\u5169\u500b\u4eba\u6210\u624d\u80cc\u975c\u6240\u5c0e\u81f4\u7684\u4e0d\u4e00\u6a23\u3002\u5728Gottman\u63a2\u8a0e\u7684\u592b\u5a66\u4e2d\uff0c\u5728\u521d\u6b21\u700f\u89bd\u76844\u5e74\u4ee5\u5f8c\u518d\u53bb\u700f\u89bd\u5979\u5011\uff0c\u7d50\u679c\u767c\u89ba\uff0c69%\u722d\u5435\u7684\u7de3\u6545\u9084\u662f\u548c4\u5e74\u524d\u540c\u6a23\u3002<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u3000\u3000\u56e0\u6b64\uff0c\u5982\u4eca\u548b\u8fa6\u5462?\u767d\u99ac\u738b\u5b50\u539f\u5148\u662f\u53ea\u873b\u86d9\uff0c\u518d\u5982\u4f55\u52e4\u596e\u4e5f\u6c92\u6cd5\u628a\u4ed6\u8b8a\u70ba\u5973\u7687\u4e86\uff0c\u8a72\u96e2\u7570\u55ce?\u55ef\uff0c\u5a5a\u59fb\u5c08\u5bb6\u4e0d\u4e00\u5b9a\u9019\u822c\u63d0\u8b70\uff0c\u6700\u5c11\u6c92\u6709\u60df\u4e00\u7684\u89e3\u6c7a\u65b9\u6848\u3002\u7531\u65bc\uff0c\u4f60\u7684\u4e0b\u6bcf\u6bb5\u5a5a\u59fb\uff0c\u4e5f\u5c07\u6703\u906d\u53d7\u4e00\u6a23\u7684\u60c5\u6cc1\uff0c\u4e0d\u4e00\u5b9a\u6703\u6bd4\u6b64\u6b21\u597d\u3002<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u3000\u3000\u82f1\u570b\u4eba\u969b\u4ea4\u5f80\u6587\u5b78\u5bb6Sheila Heen\u63d0\u8b70\u8af8\u4f4d\u7d30\u5fc3\u7528\u5fc3\u807d\u9019\u4e9b\u9081\u9032\u91d1\u5a5a\u3001\u9280\u5a5a\u3001\u947d\u77f3\u5a5a\u7684\u8001\u592b\u8001\u59bb\u7684\u5fc3\u88e1\u8a71\uff0c\u770b\u4e00\u4e0b\u5979\u5011\u600e\u6a23\u76f8\u4e92\u5bec\u5bb9\u8b93\u6b65\uff1a\u300c\u5fd7\u6587\u7e3d\u662f\u665a\u5230\uff0c\u56e0\u6b64\u5b89\u742a\u78b0\u5230\u95dc\u9375\u4e8b\u5152\u5fc5\u9808\u81ea\u8eab\u99d5\u8eca\u53bb\u300d\u3001\u300c\u5bb6\u5bf6\u4e00\u76f4\u559c\u611b\u9080\u76c6\u53cb\u9032\u5bb6\u805a\u6703\uff0c\u5b9c\u5a77\u537b\u5be7\u9858\u591c\u91cc\u5b89\u5b89\u7a69\u7a69\u6b47\u606f\uff0c\u56e0\u6b64\u5979\u5011\u5006\u8b93\u6b65\uff0c\u8981\u662f\u5bb6\u5bf6\u81ea\u8eab\u80af\u627f\u64d4\u505a\u98ef\u63a5\u5f85(\u5bb6\u5bf6\u4e00\u822c\u4e0d\u5bb9\u6613)\uff0c\u5b9c\u5a77\u5c31\u6c92\u5efa\u8b70\u3002\u300d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u3000\u3000\u5c0d\u65bc\u5169\u500b\u4eba\u7684\u4e0d\u540c\u9ede\uff0c\u5c0b\u627e\u80fd\u5920\u8b93\u6b65\u5354\u8abf\u7684\u65b9\u6cd5\uff0c\u662f\u592b\u5a66\u8981\u6069\u611b\u4e00\u8f29\u5b50\uff0c\u5fc5\u505a\u7684\u5b8c\u8ab2\u4e4b\u9996\uff0c\u90fd\u662f\u6700\u8a72\u4e00\u8a66\u7684\u65b9\u5f0f\uff0c\u7d42\u7a76\u5a5a\u59fb\u539f\u672c\u4e5f\u662f\u4e00\u8f29\u5b50\u7684\u5b8c\u8ab2\u3002<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u3000\u30003.\u9632\u6b62\u65a5\u8cac\u53e6\u4e00\u65b9<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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